Too cringe i cant

Aku berusaha untuk sopan dan menjaga kata-kataku supaya tidak menyinggung siapapun. 

Jujur aku gapaham dengan jalan pikiran orang yang terlalu perasa. Dont get me wrong, punya perasaan itu baik. Tapi kalau sudah 'terlalu', jadinya tidak baik. Memang BAPA tuh luar biasa ya, bikin manusia beragam sekali modelnya. Tolong BAPA tya si manusia logika ini tidak paham kenapa ada manusia kek begini. It's like mannn i cant help this is too cringe to handle. 

((BAPA cinta semua anak, semua anak manusia di dunia, yang baperan, yang tapres, yang nangisan, dan suka marah, BAPA cinta semua anak di dunia))

Ya walaupun aku ga kenal-kenal banget, tapi bisa ketebak sih gimana ujungnya. I'm good at predicting something. Jadi ya lebih baik gausah mulai. Aku tidak melihat adanya masa depan disana. Bukan berarti dia tidak baik. Bukan. Tapi tidak cocok aja. Bagaimana bisa tya si manusia logika ini bisa hidup bersama manusia yang terlalu perasa? Sungguh tidak masuk di logikaku. 

And sorry, you are blocked :) 

If you read this, please learn how to self-control.

Trust issue

I tell you because i trust you. Mungkin salahku juga sih ga bilang kalo minta tolong gausah cerita ke sapa-sapa, jadi ya dikira cerita biasa aja. 

Memang dasarnya tya sudah punya trust issue. Ya cukup tau aja sih. Jadi pelajaran kedepan buat ga bakal percaya buat cerita kek gitu lagi.

:)

Ode to the bad days

I know they do it because of dr. Hery Sp.JP,
but hey, I wrote that paper, I'm the et al :")
oh gini rasanya dapat pengakuan nasional.

Just like a 1000000-pieces puzzle
There were dark, ambiguous pieces
With bizarre pattern
The ones we wish to perish

It seems unimportant
but a puzzle won't be complete without it

Ode to the bad days
The days when everything were scattered and thrown away
The dreams, hard works, hope, and expectation
Gone with the wind

Remember, just like the past,

these bad days too wont last forever.

TED Mystery Experiment - part 1

 #MysteryExperiment 

Disclaimer: Papa kalau baca ini, tolong jangan ember dulu. Tell them when this is officially over, okay. Thx. 

God know one of my biggest insecurity is finance. I am afraid that someday I don't have enough. As a medical doctor and civil servant working in a public hospital, I know I shouldn't be worry. I've got everything I need now. But residency years to come made me think about my savings all over again. Is it enough? Belum lagi stresnya nanti pas PPDS, jadi pasti butuh hidup dengan nyaman.

The Residency system in Indonesia is university-based. Residents won't get paid; instead, we pay our tuition. Can I survive only with my salary? Can I live with my saving now? Apa harus tya gadai SK PNS buat modal sekolah? Thanks to many financial gurus on the internet nowadays, I learned a lot. How to budgeting, an emergency fund, compound interest, stocks market, and other fun things. 

Budgeting was not easy at all! On January 31th 2021, I decided to sit down and do my budget. It suddenly gave me a headache because it revealed all my 'bocor halus'. It made me upset with my younger-careless self. Why you wasting so much money mannnnnnnn hhdhagahbfdhgfgggwghhh! You should've spent it wisely!! 

Dasar young dumb and broke.

Bzzzzzzzztt *ceritanya ala-ala rewind*

- Back in December 2020, I read about this research on Twitter. It is a multinational study, and they wanted participants from Indonesia too. Because I am into research things, it was fun to join. It is the TED Foundation. I mean the famous TED Talks on Youtube. It felt good to help the other researchers too. It was a 20-ish minutes survey. I submitted my application and forgot about it then.- 

The thread I was referring to
Gimana ga bergelitik jiwa peneliti tya
kalo ajakannya kek begini.
It's gonna be fun and exciting.

*okay back to the future*

A week later (in early February), I received an email from TED talks. It was stated that I had been chosen to be the participant in their research of human nature. Cool, I thought. Maybe another SurveyMonkey to fill in. 

After I opened the link and watched the video. Wait wait, what??? We were told to spend ten thousand USD in three months? Is it a prank? Is it a scam? Is it legit? But it is Chris Anderson himself, founder of TED Foundation, and I got nothing to lose. The terms and conditions were easy to follow. The paper works too was easy. Even setting up a new verified PayPal account was not as complicated as I thought. Thanks to BNI Mobile Banking. 

After waiting for several weeks and doubting it several times, on February 27th, I opened my email. Then my PayPal account. 

It's LEGIT mannnnnnn! TED Mystery Experiment bukan kaleng-kaleng. Eh kalem dulu tapi soalnya masih jaga UGD. Okay tenang tenang, stick to the plan yaa..

Click on the Label "TED Mystery Experiement" for the next parts!

Taylor Swift

I've been a swifties since junior high school. The first song i heard was fifteen. Aku inget waktu itu umurku masih 14, mau masuk 15. Waktu denger lagu itu seneng banget, relate banget apalagi kan lagunya tentang cinta monyet kan ya. Namanya juga masih remaja labil nan galau. Sampe pas aku ulang tahun ke 15, literally aku nyanyi ini sebelum keluar kamar. Ngakakkkkk. 

Banyak kenangan sama album Fearless, karena aku suka banget dengerinnya. Hampir tiap malam diputer lagunya, entah sambil belajar, atau sambil main game virtual villagers. Pas lomba pernah lagi stres di asrama, terus jadinya karaokean nyanyi lagunya mbak swift. 

Tapi memang sih, mbak swift kalo bikin lagu bagus banget liriknya dan musiknya. Kriteria lagu kesukaan tya --> kalo liriknya bagus. 

Apalagi ini, lagu galaw maximal

Dari akhir SMP sampe kuliah masih suka dengerin mbak swift. Tapi mulai males dengerin sejak album 1989. Itu cuma beberapa lagu yang aku suka. Padahal album-album sebelumnya, aku suka semua lagunya, bahkan yang ga terkenal. Terus album reputation. Kek wow apa yang terjadi denganmu mbak swift? Gatau vibesnya kek negatif aja album itu. Yang album Lover juga cuma suka beberapa. Ya mungkin mbak swift sudah beda aliran sama aku. Dan aku baca-baca berita katanya memang dia lagi ada masalah dengan beberapa artis dan label musik lamanya. 

Tapii begitu folklore dan beberapa bulan kemudian evermore keluar, mbak swift kita kembali sealiran :") aku terharu bisa punya lagu baru :")

Terus ada info lagi kalau mbak swift mau rerecording album lamanya lagi, dimulai dari Fearless. Gimana ga mo tambah nangis.

:"")

Fearless have been with me through my unstable times. Denger fearless lagi tuh kayak dibuat flashback tentang gimana galaunya jaman dulu. Nangis tiap hari, berharap hidup bakal seperti fairytale. Jaman-jaman tya masih ga rasional dan kebanyakan pake perasaan. 

You deserve a big warm hug girllll *selfhug*. Terima kasih sudah berusaha dan berjuang untuk jadi dewasa dan rasional. Tya 15 tahun mana percaya kalau ternyata Tya 26 tahun bisa ada di posisi ini. Tya 15 tahun juga ga nyangka kalau ternyata butuh bertahun-tahun untuk bisa ada di posisi ini. But here you are, and i am so proud of youuu :"")

Remah-remah rempeyek.

 Tya, ingat ya.

Nanti kalau kamu sudah selesai sekolah dan balik kerja lagi, jangan lupa ajak ngobrol dokter jaga UGD. Bantuin kalo ada masalah-masalah. Karena mereka remah-remah rempeyek itu enggak punya power yang cukup untuk memperbaiki sistem. Karena kamu tau rasanya gimana jadi remah-remah rempeyek korban alur dan SOP yang amat sangat tidak nakes-friendly. 

Udah berusaha berisik tapi enggak dianggap. Apa mesti dikoreksi orang luar dulu? Kenapa telinganya lebih peka sama penilaian orang luar daripada badannya sendiri yang udah teriak-teriak kesakitan?

:)

Kupang, 31 Desember 2020

9 bulan AC (after covid)

Dari remah-remah rempeyek alias tim andalan RS.